modern courtship: driving with your eyes closed. and without using your hands. so maybe the driving metaphor doesn't work...

The following is a loose transcript of my email correspondence with Nunzio today:

Me: Make with the wooing. Please.
Nunzio: Funny. Funny. Funny. You're very old-fashioned about this stuff you know. Maybe I want to be wooed.
Me: I thought I was wooing you. And I thought I was wooing you AND being modern by telling you to woo me, dammit. Sorry about that. But I've been operating under the generally agreed upon assumption that men, given their hunter/gatherer instincts, generally prefer to be the wooers. Something about you guys needing something to chase down and all. Thrill of the hunt. Whatever. Social anthropology is interesting, but being the quarry becomes very dull when nobody is actually chasing you. Flirtation does make the day pass more quickly, doesn't it?
Nunzio: You crack me up. That was very funny. Flirtation does make the day pass better... I've also been mucho busy at work... When I get my head above water, I will recommense proper wooing. You beast.
Me: Was that "You Beast" or "Your Beast"? One of them has slightly nicer connotations. Although, you're not at all a beast. Quite the gentleman.
Nunzio: [makes an attempt at writing like Dr. Seuss - a perfectly beastly poem]
Me: [counters by stating a preference for Shel Silverstein - I love that "My Beard" poem!]
Nunzio: I meant you as the beast, but not in a bad way. Like a sexy beast. Like the movie. You know? You're going to have to send me the list of WP forbidden words and phrases.
Me: I recall Sexy Beast, but being compared to Ben Kingsley is still not my idea of a compliment. In fact, it's being compared to a homicidal egomaniac being portrayed by the, albeit very talented, not-so-attractive Sir Ben Kingsley. Big freaking ouch. Despite this, our correspondence amuses me greatly.
Nunzio: I was not comparing you to Ben Kingsley. I was calling you a sexy beast, and if you can't handle that compliment, you get coal. C-O-A-L.

An altogether very satisfying day of email courtship.