catching up on my correspondence

Dear Family,
I love you all and can't wait to see you next week! For your convenience I thought I'd list a few items that I would love to have for Christmas:
1. American Idiot by Green Day;
2. Saline solution, since I always forget to pack it;
3. A few minutes alone every day since I'm used to living alone and need "me" time to stay sane;
4. Fresh coffee. Not that crap that comes in a can by Folgers, but some freshly ground beans, and also some non-dairy coffee creamer; and
5. Something cute from that little shop down the street where mom spent $1200 on stuff like buffet table lamps.
Love,
WP

Dear Santa,
It has been a very long time since we last corresponded. You can blame that on Cousin Debbie, who took it upon herself to tell me that you were a big fat fabrication when I was five. My mother has never forgiven her for that. Anyway, you're too nice a concept to not believe in. Given my cousin's unforgiveable gaffe, please consider this list my attempt to make up for the past 30 years:
1. A Marc Jacobs Multi-Pocket Calfskin Hobo - I need it;
2. A new winter coat - I'm fine with cashmere, but prefer black to beige;
3. Fantastic bedlinens; and
4. Milka chocolate - can't find it anywhere anymore.
Thanks, Santa!!! You're so best!
WP

Dear GOD,
We talk just about everyday (I count the times that I take Your name in vain because I know You're listening - sorry about that), but this is the first time in this format.
There are a few things I'd like Your help with this year:
1. Help me control my spending so that I can afford to take a vacation with the Alabama Slama next Fall - we're thinking about Argentina!
2. Help me to improve my attitude about my job so that my bosses continue to be as enthusiastic about me as I should be about them;
3. Please help me to stay healthy;
4. Please keep my family and friends happy and in good health; and
5. Please send me a guy that knocks my socks off.
All my love to You and Your Son,
WP