Look, I'm not doing this for you, but for my own dark and twisted reasons. Oh, and because everyone else is doing it.


December 16, 2005

catching up on my correspondence

Dear Family,
I love you all and can't wait to see you next week! For your convenience I thought I'd list a few items that I would love to have for Christmas:
1. American Idiot by Green Day;
2. Saline solution, since I always forget to pack it;
3. A few minutes alone every day since I'm used to living alone and need "me" time to stay sane;
4. Fresh coffee. Not that crap that comes in a can by Folgers, but some freshly ground beans, and also some non-dairy coffee creamer; and
5. Something cute from that little shop down the street where mom spent $1200 on stuff like buffet table lamps.

Dear Santa,
It has been a very long time since we last corresponded. You can blame that on Cousin Debbie, who took it upon herself to tell me that you were a big fat fabrication when I was five. My mother has never forgiven her for that. Anyway, you're too nice a concept to not believe in. Given my cousin's unforgiveable gaffe, please consider this list my attempt to make up for the past 30 years:
1. A Marc Jacobs Multi-Pocket Calfskin Hobo - I need it;
2. A new winter coat - I'm fine with cashmere, but prefer black to beige;
3. Fantastic bedlinens; and
4. Milka chocolate - can't find it anywhere anymore.
Thanks, Santa!!! You're so best!

Dear GOD,
We talk just about everyday (I count the times that I take Your name in vain because I know You're listening - sorry about that), but this is the first time in this format.
There are a few things I'd like Your help with this year:
1. Help me control my spending so that I can afford to take a vacation with the Alabama Slama next Fall - we're thinking about Argentina!
2. Help me to improve my attitude about my job so that my bosses continue to be as enthusiastic about me as I should be about them;
3. Please help me to stay healthy;
4. Please keep my family and friends happy and in good health; and
5. Please send me a guy that knocks my socks off.
All my love to You and Your Son,

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