<%@LANGUAGE="JAVASCRIPT" CODEPAGE="1252"%> Whisky Pants
     
     
     

Look, I'm not doing this for you, but for my own dark and twisted reasons. Oh, and because everyone else is doing it.

 
 

July 15, 2006

i should have come of age 60 years ago

As the Dog Chauffeur and I sat down to breakfast this morning, our adorable waiter exclaimed how pretty I was. I promptly declared my love for the waiter - apparently I can be had for cheap flattery. What am I saying?? I'm all over cheap flattery. "I'm so coming back next weekend," I said to DC, who replied in mock shock, "but I won't be here!"

So, you see, the day started out extraordinarily well.

Then, I did some napping and finally finished The True History of the Kelly Gang (excellent) and Cocktails for Three (trite). After puttering around aimlessly (which is not easy in a studio - you end up retracing your steps rather often), I nuked a lean cuisine and started watching The Philadelphia Story. It may have been the depressing lean cuisine, but while watching this charming movie I came to the sad realization that I should have been born in the era of Cary Grant's and Jimmy Stewart's heydays.

Why?
1. ) The witty witty banter...
Librarian: What is thy wish?
Macaulay Connor: I'm looking for some local b - what'd you say?
Librarian: What is thy wish?
Macaulay Connor: Um, local biography or history.
Librarian: If thee will consult with my colleague in there.
Macaulay Connor: Mm-hm. Dost thou have a washroom? [the librarian points]
Macaulay Connor: Thank thee.

or

C. K. Dexter Haven: The moon is also a goddess, chaste and virginal.
Tracy Lord: Stop using those foul words.

Also - Katherine Hepburn gets to deliver lines such as "I'm such an unholy mess of a girl!" And I completely understand what she means.

2.) The glamorization/romanticization of drinking excessive amounts of alcohol.
Macaulay Connor: I would sell my grandmother for a drink - and you know how I love my grandmother. - or -
Macaulay Connor: Champagne's funny stuff. I'm used to whiskey. Whiskey is a slap on the back, and champagne's heavy mist before my eyes. - or -
C. K. Dexter Haven: I thought all writers drank to excess and beat their wives. You know one time I secretly wanted to be a writer. - or -
Uncle Willie: [hung over] Awww... this is one of those days that the pages of history teach us are best spent lying in bed. - or -
C. K. Dexter Haven: [looking for the "hair of the dog"] Do you s'pose, sir, speaking of eye-openers...?
Uncle Willie: Oh, that's the first sane remark I've heard today. C'malong, Dexter, I know a formula that's said to pop the pennies off the eyelids of dead Irishmen.

3.) I crave the sorts of conversations that occur between men and women in movies like Indiscreet and Some Like it Hot.

I long for the 4.) unidy-yet-happy endings, for 5.) the stylish costumes, for 6.) the star-crossedness, and for 7.) the underlining honorableness of it all.

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