Look, I'm not doing this for you, but for my own dark and twisted reasons. Oh, and because everyone else is doing it.


September 23, 2006

single through no fault of my own

I've reached the age where dates and potential beaux ask why I haven't been married before, as if it is a sign that I am somehow a poor bet. This question confounds me, and I generally find myself stammering/searching for a response.

The question is usually posed by a divorced man; a man who has (irrationally, IMO) determined that by having been married, one is more likely to be married. Well, having actually written that down, perhaps there is some truth to it. Perhaps those who desire marriage over having a healthy and mutually satisfactory union are likely to marry, and often. Maybe I take marriage a little more seriously. Maybe I would rather be single than suffer the awful loneliness of an ill-suited partnership. Maybe I wasn't ready before.

However, I am not unrealistic about the nature of relationships and how difficult they can be. My parents have been happily married for 39 years - but their union is not perfect. They have taught me the arts of compromise and letting the small stuff go. If anything, I think my reluctance to enter lightly into marriage should be lauded. Dammit, I'm not a commitment-phobe. I am a really good bet.

So, remember that the next time you hesitate before asking out the spinster-next-door. Lack of marriage does not equal undateable/unmarriageable.

(This post was inspired by The Green Canary and No Sex and the City.)

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