stick a fork in this blog

It is done. I'm starting over. This little vanity project has long outlived any bit of usefulness. In addition to tiring not only of the name but my own incessant whining about all sorts of shit nobody cares about, the monotony had begun to wear on my subconscious.

In order to break out of a rut you have to change your behavior... your approach to things. It's not like in the telenovelas where all you have to do is cake on the eyeliner and use the diffuser on your hairdryer. (For some reason, the more maquillaje you've got going on, the more liberated you are. I've tried this and it doesn't work. It only means you have to shell out that much more dough on eye makeup remover and conditioner.)

A new blog has begun. It may be less whiny. It may be more introspective. It may become a forum for the things I want to accomplish. It may suck. Whatever. I won't be providing a link here, so if you want the new url send me a note.

still mostly hibernating

My quest to grow emotionally and shrink physically continues. I've been on this damned diet for 10 days and, for the most part (two glasses of whisky over the course of 10 days), have stuck to it. However, it upsets my stomach. This means my ability to be social is rather limited. Nice, huh? Want a hot stock tip? Buy shares in the manufacturer of Gas-X.

The break from blogging and dating has been fruitful (hah! get it?!?) in that I've been able to focus better at work. This is good since things are really hairy at that nuthouse. If I could blog about work and get away with it, I'd be spilling my guts (hey - was that another pun for my pathetic digestive system?). Also, by forcing myself to focus inward I have to really think about why I want to stuff my mouth with beautiful fabulous hydrogenated fats when I'm stressed, sad, lonely, or bored instead of doing something more healthy. Acknowledging one's issues and actually working on them isn't easy. If you have spare metabolic karma, please send some my way.

Posting will continue to be sporadic. Fortunately, The Thirsty Bunny is taking a break from his 18 month long blog-hibernation for our reading pleasure. He is far more clever anyway.

hibernation

I'm not saying that I'm quitting, but I need a break. I like being an attention slut to a certain extent (like, to all ten of you), but I'm not happy with the content anymore. Similarly, I'm not real pleased with how the dating thing has gone for the past 18 months so I'm going to take a breather from that too. I'm going to miss the blogging way more than the dating.

Oddly, after 36 years you'd think I'd be fully grown-up (how very wrong you'd be) but I think I have a bit more ripening to do and this ersatz online diary could benefit from that as well. I need to work on making me better (stronger, faster, thinner, happier, more promotable), and perhaps this would enable me to write better. I'm going to concentrate on me, on making new friends, and on being a better friend. I find that, with age, friends seem to drift away with their own lives and one tends to not realize this until those friends are no longer really friends anymore. In all cases, change needs to be effected and I'm not sure it can or should be blogged.

I'll be back before long - I just need to mull some stuff. I'm not quitting; I'm hibernating.

pick a smarter idiot

Gawd do I love the comments that Velvet gets in response to her postings. The most recent is about how men are idiots. Well, at least that's what I got out of it.

You can read it yourself, but here is my completely unasked for and untested advice (well, except for having dated guys since the age of 13, plus my good friend, the Alabama Slama, has been espousing this theory for, like, ever and she knows all sorts of useful things): "The thing for both friends to remember? There is a vast ocean of more idiots [to date, screw, or marry] - and not all of them ejaculate prematurely or suffer from momentary social retardation. My motto is, 'Next!'."

In other words, pick a smarter idiot. Or at least a considerate one.

my dating life could be a skit on prairie home companion

Insomnia has plagued me these last few nights. Last night in my restless twisting and turning, I mulled the situation with this fantastically nice man I've been out with a few times. I'm very much on the fence about this guy, and think he may feel the same about me. In fact, I think that we may be on a friend trajectory.

My concerns: he seems rather rigid (lacking that "go with the flow" thing), he may be OCD about neatness or being clean, he doesn't flirt (he may not know how), and he hasn't really laid a serious kiss on me yet so I can't get a feel for whether there could be physical chemistry.

Why I've continued to go out with him: he's cute, is the most decent and kind man I've dated in YEARS, he keeps asking me out, he's very considerate... actually he may rank in the top three for consideration. At the end of our dates we head in different directions, but this guy waits with me and chats until I get on the train, and then he takes the next train.

Tonight will be the fifth date. We're seeing a play and it is a "school night", so its not like I can ply him with mass amounts of alcohol and see if he can be uninhibited or messy... And I'll be headed out of town on Wednesday, which will sort of break the pattern we had established. Dating around the holidays is a real pain in the ass. Wish me luck.

salvame

My telenovela fascination has gotten completely out of hand. It's the last week of Rebelde, so of course I'm taping it. I'm taping a teeny-bopper Mexican telenovela. I like it so much that I think they should make a US version, a la Ugly Betty. Someone get Salma on the phone...

On top of that, I've been completely dragged into the mess that is Heridas de Amor and Mundo de Fieras. The latter is pretty awful. Well, so is the former for that matter. The only saving grace on Univision is La Fea Mas Bella, which is the Mexican version of Yo Soy Betty, La Fea, which is the basis for Ugly Betty (produced by the lovely Salma Hayek) and the whole reason why I got started on this sendero de locura. See? I know way too much about this mierda for a white chick. I tell people that I'm watching to keep my Spanish skills sharp, to help teach the Supremes a thing or two about their father's ancestors' lengua. I mean, es verdad, yo hablo tanto mas espanol que mi cunado or su familia, pero this is redonkulous. (At the same time, I have not figured out how to input proper Spanish puncutation in blogger. I'm lazy.)

Obviously I wouldn't have this problem if I had cable. Other than Univision and PBS, and new episodes of LOST, there isn't much worth watching. Now, my obsession is moving into the Latino music realm. And, like my telenovela obsession, my taste in Latino music es horrible. Evidence? My latest iTunes playlist:
1. Salvame - by/por RBD (from the Rebelde novela - this show is quite the moneymaker)
2. Estoy Perdido - by/por Luis Fonsi (who is hawt)
3. Try a Little Tenderness - by/por the Barrio Boyz
4. Te Aviso/Te Anuncio (Tango) - by/por Shakira
5. Rebelde - RBD
6. Whenever, Wherever - Shakira
7. I Like It - The Blackout Allstars
8. La Tortura (Shaketon Remix) - Shakira

To be quite frank, I never really had good taste in music. For example, I might be hitting the Black Cat tomorrow with The Multicultural Spitfire and her esposo for their New Order vs. Duran Duran dance party. I'll totally be rooting for Duran Duran.

little more seratonin in me

So, I LOVELOVELOVE this little movie. I caught the link from another dcblogger a while back and can't remember who it was to give them credit. Blame it on the xanax, yo.

I'm Bringing Paxil Back

There are just too many fantastic things about this video. That, and I secretly loved Justin's original version (which happens to my sister's groove - she loved the video too and since she's in the health field I think that pretty much provides a major stamp of approval).

Disclaimer: By no means am I making fun of depression, anxiety, OCD, or other important and serious ailments that might be particularly heightened by stress we feel due to the holiday season. In fact, I'm all about finding your happy place via prescribed medicines, sleep aids (waiting for the Lunesta to kick in, for that matter), therapists, safe but fun sex, small amounts of excellent chocolate, and by buying yourself that glorious shirt, Marc Jacobs handbag, or bauble. Depression is a serious disease often exacerbated by the holidays. If the video does not cheer you up or make you jones for some happy pills so that you can cheer up, then please contact your doctor immediately! But, bringing Paxil back may not bring your sexy back (sad side effect, so do research on the sexier drugs...). Ohh - I think the Lunesta just kicked in...