Look, I'm not doing this for you, but for my own dark and twisted reasons. Oh, and because everyone else is doing it.


January 22, 2005

full of shite

Damn you, nerve horoscopes! Damn your lies!

Libra (Sept. 22-Oct. 22) Your week is going to be a cross between a beer ad and a Spic-n-Span commercial. Spend the first few days doing some much-needed mental, professional and personal housekeeping, then manicure those nether regions. The Sun's move into Aquarius on Wednesday will shift your focus away from cleanliness, godliness and your therapist's office and toward all things sex and, um, beer. Of course, if you're into some other substance, feel free to uncork or unscrew that substance instead, in preparation for a hefty dose of drunk, dirty monkey sex all over your newly clean abode.

I don't even think I remember what dirty monkey sex is.

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