super special horoscope

Gotta love the dirty-minded degenerates over at Nerve. I wonder if they're hiring...

Libra (Sept. 22-Oct. 22) With Venus in your third house as the year begins, you're going to be one social and sexual butterfly in the coming months. If you're attached, remember: just because you have a lover doesn't mean they have to be at your side whenever you leave the house. Singles will also have a busy schedule, one that involves fornicating with as many people as possible. This will last until late February, when Chiron, the wounded healer, moves into Aquarius and your solar fifth house of romance. You'll meet someone who, at least temporarily, sets your soul on fire. Just tread carefully — we're pretty sure their last relationship ended worse than yours. In October, Jupiter moves into Scorpio and your solar second house, meaning your wallet's going to be a little thinner than usual for the holidays. When deciding which bedmate is a keeper this year, you may want to think about whether they have expensive taste.