Look, I'm not doing this for you, but for my own dark and twisted reasons. Oh, and because everyone else is doing it.


September 27, 2006

getting older = getting over it quickly/easily

As I near the big Three Six, I find that I get over things much more quickly. Thank god! Getting old should come with a few perks.

Without going into too much detail, I have been trying to help a friend get through a difficult situation with a former love interest. Said love interest flaked out on her in a colossal way, which she (logically) found hurtful. My advice was to move on and forget about the jerk, and I don't think she found my words very comforting. Either I've gone numb or have lost all tact. Or both.

However, losing one's tact thing is rather freeing. Take this recent response to a potential online beau (somewhat redacted) who is feeling flummoxed by my reluctance to meet without never having exchanged non-dating site messages or a phone call (I also recalled some wisdom from The Green Canary - who dreams of a dating site where only the negatives are shared):

"I have been doing the online dating thing off and on for a couple years. I've made a great friend (who I set up with a good friend - they got married earlier this month), dated a few really great guys, went on several so-so first dates, and have encountered a handful of weirdos. One of them on eHarmony, as a matter of fact; a complete misogynist. So, I appreciate your patience as we carefully navigate the murky waters of online dating. I'm not completely jaded - just cautious.

I make fun of eHarmony, but have to generally commend it for the type of men it draws. They tend to be nice guys - not the typical wife-beater-wearing NASCAR fans/never read a book/only interested in hook-up types you find on match. I haven't once seen a photo of a hairy guy in a tank top on eHarm. This mere fact weighs heavily in eHarm's favor.

However, the service also seems so completely earnest, so sincere, and I am a slightly flippant person. It is really hard to convey a sense of humor using this service. Then again, it can be hard to discern dry humor online...

I like that you say you don't like cooking. I don't like it either. Particularly just for myself. Dinner tonight consisted of a turkey sandwich, celery and hummus. Dessert was a handful of peanut M&M's. Telling people what you don't like can also be interesting and a way to determine shared interests/compatibility...

My potential faults/potential negatives/fun and useful facts: I think watching sports on tv every weekend is a huge waste of time - I don't need or want to be a football/baseball widow. The World Series is an exception if the Cardinals are playing. My idea of camping includes a cabin that has ac/heat/running water/no bugs. While I don't mind hiking in the Fall, I don't get why all these people are so into hiking on these dating sites. I think REI is great place to shop for travel gear, but I'm no extreme sports fanatic. I'm not very athletic for that matter. Why on earth would people want to play softball when it is 95 degrees out? Especially when there are pitchers of sangria in air-conditioned bars begging for company.

I don't have cable because I would rather spend that money on shoes, theatre tickets, airfare to see my friends and family... At the same time, I am hooked on LOST, various telenovelas, and the original CSI. I'll tape it all but LOST - I'll stay home on Wednesdays to see it myself. My friends know not to call me on Wednesdays unless it is a matter of life or death.

I will confess to wanting to see Jackass 2. I also want to see Marie Antoinette. I like to think this means I'm complex.

On the positive side, my friends will tell you that I am a sympathetic and fun friend.

This is just the tip of the iceberg of things that make me either interesting or irritating. Sometimes both."

The right guy is going to read that and think, "well, its not all that bad".

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