evidently, match.com is preferred by pirates

So, since posting my badass gun nut photos on my old match profile, I've been winked at by a bonafide pirate (I have a feeling he winks at everyone - holla if this sounds familiar), some guy who seems to pilot a tourist boat on the Chesapeake, the usual doofi (plural for doofus), and a latin lover.

The "pirates" scare me as they don't look anything like Johnny Depp and probably aren't channeling Keith Richards like Depp did for the movie (I would definitely go out with someone channeling Keith). The doofi are to be expected, bless their souls. The latin lover might be okay. He says he's 5'11", which means he's at least 5'9" and he has an advanced degree.

Also, I am immediately suspicous of men whose profile names are like "Sincere4Her" and whose headlines are like "Fun and romantic... but alone". I suppose there are women out there who fall for that crap. Creepy.