<%@LANGUAGE="JAVASCRIPT" CODEPAGE="1252"%> Whisky Pants
     
     
     

Look, I'm not doing this for you, but for my own dark and twisted reasons. Oh, and because everyone else is doing it.

 
 

October 30, 2006

keep your diaper on!

Conversations with my sister are generously peppered with little gems such as, "Keep your diaper on or I'm turning off Elmo!" I can't believe that this is the same girl I used to have to buy Beam Travelers for when I visited her at college. When Supreme Nephew was just learning to crawl, I remember her screeching mid-conversation, "NOOOO!" (still a little deaf because of that phone call) because he had found the dog's balls (the dog was asleep on his back) and decided they needed a good squeeze. Fortunately, the dog is good with kids and he didn't wake until my sister hollered. The dog may be hairy, neurotic and gassy (a hat trick of sorts in the doggie world), but he is gentle with the kids.

Anyways. It was a good day. I flirted, got flirted with (it ain't sexual harrassment if you don't object to it), got my flu shot, my apartment was cleaned (hiring a cleaning service is the single best decision I've made in the past 10 years), and got to hear my sister diaper my niece's Elmo doll so she'd stop taking off her own diaper. The only downside to the day is the fact that you can't find a TMX Elmo doll anywhere for less than $50. eBay is selling them for $150. Unbelievable. Remember the Cabbage Patch craze? Beyond absurd. I'll get her one next year. Its not like she'll remember or know the difference. She's happy as long as you're spinning around in circles with her; like her mother and I, she likes feeling dizzy. [I know what you're thinking now - way ahead of you there. Hell, I might as well go blonder during my next round of highlights next week.]

Re the crush. Suffice to say, I work with him. And the girl he has started dating also works for our agency. One idea would be to get all the single younger men in the agency to flirt with her. She is a catch. She just needs to realize that my crush is too old for her. I don't want to play dirty since we all work together and they are both nice people. I just want to help this situation reach its natural end sooner than later. So, keep your ideas clean but sneaky.

PS - Fantastic new time-waster from nerve.com!!!!! America's Next Top Model Congress - you get to vote on who is hot or not! Now, let us all keep in mind that DC hotness should not be rated by LA/NYC/most-anywhere-else standards, so be a little forgiving with the scores. For instance, Harold Ford should rate a 10, while Neil Abercrombie should not. Jane Harman is very hot for a 60-something. Loretta Sanchez is a little skanky for a 40-something. And, surprisingly, Mark Udall is hot in that older Marlboro man sort of way. Rowr...

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