Look, I'm not doing this for you, but for my own dark and twisted reasons. Oh, and because everyone else is doing it.


October 15, 2006

probably not dead inside

I've been on four dates with the same guy and haven't gotten any further than a chaste kiss goodnight. And I don't mind. This either means that I am not that into him or I've suddenly gone all subconsciously Rules on myself. He's a sweet man, not unattractive, tall, thinks I'm pretty funny, and we have lots in common... but he might be a little too sweet. I despise myself for not appreciating that more, for not finding that more sexy. So, I'm hanging in there. I'm not turned off by it and I still want to continue seeing him, I just don't see me throwing myself at him.

I'm pretty sure that I'm not dead inside; I cried at the end of Casanova tonight (PBS is a godsend). However, I'm worried that I enjoy my solitude too much.

Maybe I should just get us both drunk and see what happens.

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