probably not dead inside

I've been on four dates with the same guy and haven't gotten any further than a chaste kiss goodnight. And I don't mind. This either means that I am not that into him or I've suddenly gone all subconsciously Rules on myself. He's a sweet man, not unattractive, tall, thinks I'm pretty funny, and we have lots in common... but he might be a little too sweet. I despise myself for not appreciating that more, for not finding that more sexy. So, I'm hanging in there. I'm not turned off by it and I still want to continue seeing him, I just don't see me throwing myself at him.

I'm pretty sure that I'm not dead inside; I cried at the end of Casanova tonight (PBS is a godsend). However, I'm worried that I enjoy my solitude too much.

Maybe I should just get us both drunk and see what happens.