happy news

My niece was safely delivered this evening, at approximately 8:30 pm. Both my sister and the baby are doing really well, which is a huge relief considering how nerve-racking this pregnancy was for the entire family. La bebe has a ton of curly black hair and weighs in at a very respectable 6 lbs, 14 oz and 20.25 " long. I'm including the lyrics to one of my favorite songs from Buena Vista Social Club, Y Tu Que Has Hecho, in deference to my niece's hispanic heritage...

En el tronco de un árbol una nina
Grabó su nombre henchida de placer
Y el árbor conmovido allá en su seno
A la nina una flor dejó caer.

Yo soy el árbol conmovido y triste
Tu eres la nina que mi tronco hirió
Yo guardo siempre tu querido nombre
Y tú, qué has hecho de mi pobre flor?

Please excuse my iffy translation - my Spanish is a bit rusty:

In the trunk of a tree a little girl
Carves her name full of pleasure
And the tree shaken to it's core
Drops a flower down to the girl.

I am the tree shaken and sad
You are the girl who wounded my trunk
I guard your dear name forever
And you, what have you done with my poor flower?

(I don't think I can wait 31 days to see her. I'm literally overwhelmed about having this new little person enter my life and I don't even know her yet. Maybe it's the result of being so close to my nephew, but I'm just blown away by the potential of her, the potential for how we are sure to affect each other. I'm shamed by my sister's bravery to endure 9 months of misery to bring another beautiful child into the world, and I'm so grateful to her for sharing them with me so willingly. And I thank God for my healthy family. )

just don't call me "half-pint"

The really funny thing about my horoscope is the fact that I called my sister very excitedly on Saturday night (I don't have to go out every weekend night, yo) upon discovering that Disney was redoing Little House on the Prairie. She went all old-school on me, but I'm holding out hope (against hope) that this version will stick to the original book (and be less preachy - but check out the new Charles! Hoo-boy!).

From Nerve:

Libra (Sept. 22-Oct. 22) You have something in common with the bad guys from Little House on the Prairie this week. You start the week irritated with people you sleep with, only later, through the kindness of Laura, her kindly mom and the Highway to Heaven guy, you find out that the problem is you're missing something. It isn't that you just like being mean to settlers or stealing horses — you just need love and understanding. Around Wednesday you'll be rewarded for your sniffling, teary requests for forgiveness. Just don't take said forgiveness as a permit to be an asshat once again on Friday.

photography

DCist has entire section dedicated to local photoblogs. I think photogene is the most interesting. Today's photo is the Kramerbooks window at Dupont Circle.

I also liked this one. And this one of a fortune cookie. This one of an empty bar is also good.

A while back, the Bunny told me about the rule of three's and the difference between taking a snapshot and a photograph. Even if you're not a fan of DC, these are interesting photos.

for my nyc friends...

Saw this on Overheard in NY and thought of you all!!!

Fashionista: ...he was amazing! It's so rare to find a man familiar with Dr. Hauschka's.
Queer: You're in Chelsea, hon.
--18th St. bet. 7th & 8th

Also, can't wait to see you on the weekend of April 1st! Hurrah for our tickets Spamalot! (And I understand that props are owed to Bella Lena. You're like, the angel of silly walks.)

not getting fired = not utilizing prime blogging inspiration

During the work day I'm able to think of at least half a dozen subjects to flesh out en blog. Then I get home to find the fount of inspiration completely dried out. Or, that my ideas really pale between the time I depart work and arrive home.

For instance, there are a couple telenovelas I've become obsessed with. The first one was Betty La Fea (Betty the Ugly). I adored it. I'd tape it and then watch it on mute so that I could read along with the closed captioning (the Colombian accent was hard to follow). Now I'm into Mi Gorda Bella (My Fat Beauty). They're absurd, the acting is outta control, and hardly anyone has their real boobs. And they kill me. I watch under the auspices of keeping my Spanish skills somewhat fresh. Whatever. I think we all know that they appeal to my inner reina de dramatica. (And yes, I know there's an accent in there but I have no idea how to insert one in this format.)

See, in retrospect, you really didn't want to know about that. Did you?

I'm sorry to have wasted your time. Instead, go read this. Number 8 is the best!

weekend update

Both dates went well this weekend. The social worker was a sweet and gentle guy who communicates sans filter. No filter = hilarious conversation. It extends to his post-date communiques as well. On Saturday morning I got this message telling me that he had fallen asleep on the bus on his way home, missing his stop. The driver woke him up at the end of the line so he had to walk a mile and a half home.

here i go again

Cultural matters first:

• I just finished The Book of Salt by Monique Truong. It was a quick read - and rather poetic. From Amazon:

"The Book of Salt serves up a wholly original take on Paris in the 1930s through the eyes of Binh, the Vietnamese cook employed by Gertrude Stein and Alice B. Toklas. Viewing his famous mesdames and their entourage from the kitchen of their rue de Fleurus home, Binh observes their domestic entanglements while seeking his own place in the world. In a mesmerizing tale of yearning and betrayal, Monique Truong explores Paris from the salons of its artists to the dark nightlife of its outsiders and exiles. She takes us back to Binh's youthful servitude in Saigon under colonial rule, to his life as a galley hand at sea, to his brief, fateful encounters in Paris with Paul Robeson and the young Ho Chi Minh."

• Starting this Sunday, The National Gallery of Art will be hosting an exhibit on Toulouse-Lautrec and Montmartre. I'm looking forward to catching it.

On matters not-so-cultural-but-amusing-to-my-friends:

I've got two blind dates this weekend. That's right. Two. Blind. Dates.

On Friday I'm meeting a social worker, and I'm thinking about meeting up around U Street. Lots to do, and we can always have many drinks and go somewhere loud if things are embarrassingly awkward.

The public defender is lined up for Saturday. I'm thinking Adams Morgan might be good as there are many different places to have many different drinks and we can always go somewhere loug if things are embarrassingly awkward.

These guys have two things in common; I am their very first online blind date. So, it's like this experience might color the entire concept for them. If I hadn't been on so many really crappy dates already, I'd be overwhelmed by the responsibility. Don't get me wrong. It's not like I'm not going to try to look nice or be fun. I am looking forward to meeting them both and hope, for their sakes, that neither of them has a gas problem or wears tie chains 'cause you KNOW they'll be immortalized here if they do.

[I'm still thinking about setting up a private service among my friends where we share the profile names of all the scary/clueless asshats we've been out with. Just have to figure out a way around the libel issue...]

blogosphere karma

If you could spare some extra karma, I'd appreciate your sending it in the direction of St. Louis, MO. My sister has a month to go before she's due (on tax day), but her blood pressure is conspiring against her and my niece really needs at least 10 to 14 days more in the womb. Also, my sister needs to eat more so please send more girl scout cookie karma as well. She's only gained 21 lbs. (I could gain 21 lbs in my sleep. In fact, I swear that that's what actually happened.)

Thanks!

And here's a fun place to visit in case you're bored (go to "educational videos" and choose "predate" or "naughty bird").

40 questions from the brooklyn freckler

1. What time is it? 12:44 pm
2. Name as it appears on birth certificate: (we only use handles here)
3. Nicknames: well, The Bunny calls me "Pickles" and Dad of Whiskypants likes "Weasel"
4. Piercing: just ears
5. What is the most recent movie you've seen in the theater? Garden State
6. Eye color: hazel green
7. Place of birth: St. Louis, MO
8. Favorite food: chocolate
9. Ever been to Africa: nope
10. Ever been toilet papering: yup
11. Love someone so much it made you cry: oh yes
12. Been in a car accident: yes
13. Croutons or bacon bits: Bacon!
14. Favorite day of the week: Saturday
15. Favorite restaurants: Andale, Eat First, Kaz Sushi Bistro
16. Favorite flower: orchids
17. Favorite sport to watch: on tv? swimming. in person? baseball
18. Favorite drink: I like lambics at the moment. But Auchentoshan when it is cold.
19. Favorite ice cream: sadly, lactose intolerant - But I will suffer for Ted Drewes Frozen Custard.
20. Disney or Warner Brothers: Bugs Bunny rules, so WB
21. Favorite fast food restaurant: Vie de France? Not a fan of fast food...
22. What color is your bedroom carpet: terra cotta colored mexican tile - but I do have a large white cotton rug in there.
23. How many times did you fail your driver's test: 0
24. Before this one, from who did you get your last e-mail: potential internet date
25. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card: Anthropologie for the home stuff, Bloomingdales or Saks for clothing.
26. What do you do most often when you are bored: sit here at my computer
27. Bedtime: 11:30 pm on school nights

Questions 28-30 were about who might respond most quickly to these questions via email...

31. Favorite TV shows: Simpsons, L&O's, CSI, House
32. Last person you went to dinner with: The Bunny
33. Ford or Chevy: Ford (ah - the days of the Thunderchicken)
34. What are you listening to right now? birds chirping outside
35. What is your favorite color:
36. Lake, Ocean or river: in order of preference 1. Ocean, 2. River, 3. Lake - I like the sound of moving water.
37. How many tattoos do you have: none
38. Time you finished this e-mail: 1:09 pm
39. Which came first? God or Evolution? Evolution
40. Who will post their answers next? Nobody who has a life.

tuesday's child is full of grace

Whoever came up with the poem that included the line I've used in my title is full of crap.

I've had the clumsiest weekend. It started on Thursday night. As I was bidding adieu to the Man O' Leisure (who would like it to be known that his handle should NOW be the International Man O' Leisure) and The Fraulein outside of Local 16, I managed to pop The Fraulein in the nose. I only had 2 drinks, and had eaten beforehand.

Yesterday, I was shaving in the shower and slipped. Hard. As in extensive bruising on my hip and back HARD. As in it hurts to cough HARD.

The clutz factor could be explained in a couple different ways. First of all, my sinuses have been creating a special hell for me lately and are affecting my inner ear. Secondly, my shower floor was a bit slick because I've been using this awesome Oil of Olay in shower body conditioner. I've never slipped while shaving before - and generally have fairly good balance.

But bad things happen in threes, and now I'm a little worried about leaving the house. Pray for me. If you live nearby or see my regularly, you might want to pray for you too.

don't worry. i'm keeping my day job.

So, I've had the honor of being asked to consult on a couple of my friends' online dating profiles. It's a dubious compliment, if you think about it. I mean, apparently my rapier wit (thanks, Bunny - and freaking blog already) makes such work easy for me. At the same time those friends are asking me because I've been doing the online dating thing for the past 15 months and this makes me an expert.

Let's be clear about this matter - being an expert online dater is nothing to be proud of. (Neither is ending a sentence in a dangling participle, but I couldn't think of any way to restructure that sentence. Feh.) But it should be worthy of a sort of Badge of Courage.

On the other hand, I am chock full of useful information on the many and varied online dating services.

One of my favorites is Nerve.com's personals. They are run through Spring Street Networks, and the personals for The Onion, Salon, Village Voice and other groups feed into the system. The bachelors and bachelorettes are pretty hip and well-read. The Maestro came from Nerve. What a nice guy... It can be a bit hook-up oriented, but is way better than...

Match. Oy. I'm not even linking to those bastards. The Fartful Dodger was a match date. Need I say more? Oh, need more do you? Punk. Well, the first ultra needy guy whose cat box was kept in his kitchen [pausing to gag] was also a match date. I got "winks" from men who were in their 50's. I got barely literate messages. I got horny idiots. I hear that men who use the service that they get messages from escort services and internet porn sites. ICK.

eHarmony is my latest experiment. The guy who devised the system is a bit of a god-squader, and is rumored to head a cult. But, it the matching is based on personality characteristics and carefully guided communication. Yeah, a lot of the guys are a tad conservative but it's not so difficult to weed them out. I've gone out once with one eHarmer [hee hee] and he seemed pretty nice. So, I'm trying it for three months (which is when my discounted membership ends - sure as hell not paying full price for this crap). Stay tuned for potentially hilarious/disastrous date stories.

I also tried eMode for about three weeks - and it was a total waste of time. Don't go there.

This public service announcement was brought to you by a large glass of beaujolais.

snot-nosed pre-teens

In between the long foggy periods without inspiration, I've finally come up with a few things to write about. For instance, I was thinking recently about my favorite uncle, Uncle Bud, my mom's youngest brother. He stayed with us a while after he was laid off from his job back in the early 80's. My dad was the CPA for a music wholesaler in the city, and got my uncle a job there doing heavy lifting, running machinery, loading pallets, etc. This subject keeps returning, but I haven't written about it, and I don't think I've ever really discussed it with family or friends.

I was a preteen at the time, and all I can remember is feeling horribly embarrassed about having to share our house with my out-of-work countryish uncle. Uncle Bud was so grateful to us, and so kind to me. He repainted all my furniture from it's original greenish yellow to a nice off-white. I still have my desk and chair from then - they go well in my little studio here.

Uncle Bud looks a lot like Hank Williams, Jr. I can't say he emulates him in any way. My uncle can be a little taciturn at times. As a youngster, I was not impressed with the HWJr thing - it was a source of extreme irritation back when I was trying desperately to fit in at school. So, I spent a lot of time being pretty snotty and avoiding him. Now, I find his HWJr likeness a source of pride. That song - "A Country Boy Can Survive" - it might as well be about my uncle. (Seriously. If something rilly bad happens here, I'm hauling ass as best I can back to Hannibal MO where that man and my cousins will be able to protect and feed us.)

I look back on that time when Uncle Bud stayed with us, and wonder how aware he must of been of my irritation. And I wonder how or if this hurt him. He went home every weekend to see my aunt and cousins (it was a two hour drive each way) and I can't imagine how lonely he must have been for them. Looking back on this time, I'm filled with shame and remorse not just for how I behaved, but for feeling ashamed of him at all.

When I visit him now, I try to make up for being a snot-nosed kid. But I haven't ever told him how sorry I am for not making that difficult time any easier for him. Instead, I tell him he's my favorite uncle and just hope that he knows how much I love and admire him.

spoke too soon...

Sorry, again - this is what happens when you're in a post-work-mid-winter fog. You forget things. Maybe it's time to up my dosage.

Ok - I've added a couple interesting places to the blogroll:

• The Multicultural Spitfire (TMS)!!!! Yep. She's been set up with a blog courtesy of Cultivating Memories. The template makes me think of raspberry sherbet. How nice is that?
• The Sheila Variations - very bright, rather funny musings about literature, lobsters, Trotsky, and David Hasselhoff. An excellent writer who puts me to shame.
• This Craigslist post. And yes, I've thought about it.

if I ran the zoo

Sorry friends. I just have not been inspired recently. Well, I have flashes of inspiration but by the time I get home from work they've been completely wiped out by daily minutiae.

Things I vaguely recall liking so far this week:

• It was beautiful on Tuesday morning. Capitol Hill looked like an Ansel Adams print. Except without the mountains and lakes.
• One fish, two fish, red fish, blue fish... did I hear today was Dr. Seuss's birthday? I loved his books passionately until Shel Silverstein came along (third grade) and stole my heart forever.
• The tv show called Lost. There's no rhyme or reason, but I'm hooked.

Inspiration is needed. It could come in the form of a new book, or a movie, or some nooky, but it needs to come soon.