channel surfing during sotu

I've struck upon the ideal way to watch the State of the Union: not watching it. Instead, I'm watching Alborada and keeping up with wonkette during the commercials. Some gems:

9:18 PM "but some men rage and fight against freedom." to them i say, welcome to the us department of justice

9:21 PM we're on the offensive in iraq with a clear plan for victory"... in iran. Ha ha.

And this bit about the Patriot Act:

9:34 PM "Based on the authority given to me by Congress and by statute." Right. When is someone going to point out that the post 9/11 act is like the clown car of presidential authority? All these rights keep pouring out. I expect him to hit me with a pie soon.

Good stuff.

The DCeiver has also provided a fun version. Well, the first couple paragraphs are pretty funny, but then it gets a little old.

I'd have given my eyeteeth to see a picture in picture running commentary from the Daily Show on SOTU. That would be so unbelievably best! Maybe next year.

20 more days...

... till I get to play with her again.

19 more shopping days to find suitable gifts for her and The Neph.

The Neph is hard to shop for - he likes Star Wars and violence. I welcome any ideas on what to get him since he has everything already.

The baby is easily amused and will wear whatever we damn well please (but we prefer the expensive boutique stuff), which is why we like her so much. 

seasonal affective disorder

January has not been good to me. Since coming back to DC from the holidays I've been plagued by some sort of stomach bug - it will not loose me from its grip. As a result, I've been rather fatigued and uncharacteristically introverted. I'm nesting more than usual. Getting the cashmere robe from PamillaParkerBowles did not help this situation as it makes nesting all the more enjoyable.

While The Alabama Slama might argue with me, I've never been such a couch potato as I have been the past few weeks. I'm eager to get home each night so I can watch Univision's loco telenovelas. I've been keeping better house, too, which is a definite sign that something is wrong. And dating continues to be a mildly interesting concept where previously I was far more enthusiastic.

I'm tired of it, and so paid a visit to my adorable physician on Friday. They've taken blood and other things I'd rather not talk about, and hope to know shortly whether this condition is one that can be easily resolved. I need to get back to being the messy dating machine before I lose my edge.

things are not so bad as they seem

1. Being sick last week wasn't so bad - I dropped a couple pounds.
2. Nice man from the date where I fell on my ass sent a positive email and indicated interest in getting together again at some point. I am shocked, I tell you. Shocked.
3. I couldn't sleep Friday night, so went online and found a cheap(ish) airline ticket (Southwest Airlines again - but I'm hoping that I won't have to sit next to a person who feels compelled to travel with their recyclables this time) to go home and see the family over President's Day Weekend.
4. Got to hang out with the fantastic PamillaParkerBowles yesterday. In addition, she brought me a gift of a long-desired cashmere robe from Nordstrom Rack and allowed me to shop vicariously through her at DSW (where she saved approximately $500 by buying three pairs of designer shoes!).
5. Bleak House started tonight on PBS and has absorbed me completely. Before next week's episode I must read that book.

However, neither of my weird meme shoutouts have complied. This is mortifying. Akin to being unpopular. [really big sigh]

post # 202; oh, the humanity

We met at a local posh hotel bar to get acquainted, and he definitely looked nicer than his photos, which is nice. He was a nice, well-educated and fairly interesting man. And we could've had something had I not completely spazzed out on the way to dinner.

We were on our way to a nice restaurant when the outside of my heel landed on an uneven part of the sidewalk just right. I swear to god that the fall felt like it was in slow motion. I went all the way down. Nope. No halfway, half-assed tumble for me. I came very close to doing an out and out faceplant. My sister and The Alabama Slama would have nearly wet themselves if they had been present.

The nice man didn't get to see the actual fall, but did help me up and told me, "Don't be embarrassed." First thought: "Uuuuhhhhh... too late." Second thought: "Karma's a bitch; a very funny bitch."

Miraculously, I was unhurt. He took me to dinner, which was expensive, and refused to let me contribute to the bill. Haven't heard from him since. Not surprised about this, mind you. Somewhere, out there, some nice guy is blogging about the total spazz he took to dinner and his friends are clucking sympathetically.

Hey, it could have been worse.

weird meme tag; i'm it

The Silver Fox isn't as weird as he thinks he is.

This meme is all about one's weird habits. Le Rules:

The first player of this game starts with the topic "five weird habits of yourself," and people who get tagged need to write an entry about their five weird habits as well as state this rule clearly. In the end, you need to choose the next five people to be tagged and link to their web journals. Don't forget to leave a comment in their blog or journal that says "You have been tagged" (assuming they take comments) and tell them to read yours.

Hold onto your drinks, kids. This ain't gonna be pretty.

1. When I'm bored at home watching tv, I tweeze the hair on my legs.

Really. I was reading this article in some magazine about the chick who wrote Prozac Nation (never read the book, like the characters in Metropolitan, I like reading about books almost more than reading them), who described this very OCD sort of habit. I thought, "Well, it sounds less painful than those damn epilady contraptions or waxing."

I've been bored a lot recently.

2. I'm totally into telenovelas and I am a complete Gringa. Completamente. Muy blancissima.

My favorite is Alborada! It is a period piece that takes place when Mexico was a French terrority. Placido Domingo sings the theme song! That's when you know it is tan bueno! The leading man is a hottie extroadinaire. Ay de mi, Don Luis, quiero disfrutarte mi angel!

3. My last two cars were named.

My last car, The Mighty Thunderchicken (may she rest in peace), was named by a friend. Now I have a Mercury Cougar, and she has been named Toonces. Toonces passed the DC inspection today and I am so proud!

4. I have to wear earplugs to get to sleep.

First of all, I'm a very light sleeper. I have a terrible time getting and staying asleep. Once I'm there, though, no problem. The issue was exacerbated when I moved into my current apartment. My landlords live in the house above me (sometimes I call them the overlords). Occasionally, they have way too much to drink and have little hoedowns (really). I've found that the Howard Leight "Super Leight" pre-shaped foam ear plugs (noise reduction rating of 33) work pretty well. So does Lunesta and a beer.

5. Don't you think the leg-tweezing should count as two? So do I.

Now, the problem here is that I really don't know or correspond with enough bloggers to get five of them to respond. I'll try Chewy and the Multicultural Spitfire. Please don't let me down you two - it is a three day weekend for some of us after all. Strange Violin Music was kind enough to link to me a while back, and maybe she will grace us as well. If The Bunny could get his crap together, he'd lend a hand, but I despair we have lost him permanently.

bringing el sexy

So many of you already know my mania for telenovelas. (And since Univision has taken over Channel 14 and dumped their half-assed version of UPN known as Telefutura, I've been in jabon heaven bebes!)

But I came across this very special blog via DCBlogs. Whisky friends, meet El Guapo. Bask in the sexy Latino satire.

unfinished business

The theme of the week is "decluttering". I am astonished at the amount of crap I keep around (and in a studio apartment!), so am in the backbreaking process of figuring out what goes, what stays, and how to store the keepers in an aesthetically pleasing way. I have far to go, but progress has been made.

Previously, Nerve had admonished me for wanting to hold onto the old, but this week advocates resolving old acquaintances for once and for all:

"Libra (Sept. 22-Oct. 22) The last time I flipped through an old journal of mine, I ran across painfully depressive checklists like this: "Cool? No! Cute? No! Nice to friends and family? No!" So it is with great trepidation that I forecast your week, Libra. Someone's nostalgia will spark a bout of regression, and you'll find yourself yearning to crack open the shadowy thoughts of your former self. Instead of using this time to relive fond memories of handjobs under high-school science tables, find an incomplete project in those yellowed pages and finish the job."

Curses. I hate to leave things undone.

jonesing

I'm suffering most grievously from niece withdrawal. And some sort of virus. While my friends are pitying me for not being able to get out and about, I'm kind of enjoying all the cocooning. Plus, I really overdid it on New Years Eve and am still trying to make amends to my poor body.

I do feel a little badly about not getting out and enjoying this relatively mild January, but also feel that this is the right time of year to catch up on one's reading and movie watching. Since Christmas, I've finished The Kiterunner, Year of Wonders, and Vile Bodies. So, actually, I do need to get out and get some more books... [Bloody hell. This means I have to make myself presentable which seems to take eons anymore.]

Dating has not been as much a priority of late. I can't decide if this is because I've dated so much that I've actually become numb. Is that possible?

ye gods

Nerve has a fantastic horoscope this week:

Libra (Sept. 22-Oct. 22) Get off that withered old man and grab hold of that smiling baby! Some quiet time this week will lead to obsessing over the previous year, but if you turn your attention to the cherub in the 2006 sash, you'll see you have plenty to look forward to. Consider cleaning your figurative attic, but don't toss out old treasures just because they're getting dusty. Last year's one-night stands could be this year's clingy, codependent relationships.

Yikes.

Have been ill and catching up on rest - will try to blog substantially sometime this weekend.