brief blogging break
I will be taking off for several days in order to entertain my nephew and niece while my family moves. In retrospect, I really should have been trying to tone down the profanity this past week. Give the nephew an inch on these things and he'll drop the mother of all F bombs. In front of his parents. While peering at me out of the corners of his naughty little eyes. And this is the child who feared opening the Halloween card from "Aunt Scarypants". The prospect of having a voracious 7 month old (seriously, according to her mother, the 9 month old sized clothing makes her look like a stuffed sausage) and a very busy 5 year old as my constant responsibility without having internet access until I return is making me a little twitchy. "Have xanax, will travel", as some like to say... This will be the first Halloween that I've been able to spend with my nephew, and I am looking forward to stealing his candy. It's only fair. His mother used to steal mine. In the vein of the holiday, something festive to read about (via Gawker). If you prefer inspirational material instead... Or, if you need something totally pointless (and you know that you do), click here! (via Waiterrant)
girly weekend
I spent last night hunkered down in front of a Colin Firth movie with wine, cookies, cake, home-made chili and two amiguitas - TMS and (oh - this one needs a handle... let's see... she is quite the collector of fashion but she's more than just a shopper... we'll call her...) The Pittsburgher. TB made chili and was even gracious enough to send some home with me. It's a damn good thing I live alone, people. Also, I have a note for commenters - if I don't recognize a commenter, and feel their comment is not appropriate (in addition to spam, I do get random weird comments), I will delete your comments and block your ISP. Yeah, it's public out here on the internets and all, but this is my blog and I'm a damn arbitrary and capricious bitch. Then again, if I have blocked you by accident (totally sorry about that), feel free to email me.
all hail Chewy! queen of template making!
Welcome to the latest and loveliest version of Whisky Pants! The credit for this divine vision belongs solely to Chewy, proprietress of Cultivating the Memories, aficionado of (properly poured) Guinness, mother of a gorgeous child, and teller of strangely compelling tales.
target is totally lame
In response to my online letter, Target sends a wimpy response that basically says, "Yep, we let it happen, and we'll let it happen again.": Dear Target Guest, Target places a high priority on our role as a community pharmacy and our obligation to meet the needs of the patients we serve. We expect all our team members, including our pharmacists, to provide respectful service to our guests, particularly when it comes to their health care needs. Like many other retailers, Target has a policy that ensures a guest’s prescription for emergency contraception is filled, whether at Target or at a different pharmacy, in a timely and respectful manner. This policy meets the health care needs of our guests while respecting the diversity of our team members. Your thoughts help us learn more about what our guests expect, so I’ll be sure to share your feedback with our pharmacy executives. Thanks for taking the time to share your questions, thoughts and comments. I hope we'll see you again soon at Target. Sincerely, Jennifer Hanson Target Executive Offices So, I sent this in return, and cc'd a bunch of folks: What IS Target's policy? This response, though very polite, does not say.I'm not sure that one can describe turning down a legal prescription for birth control or emergency contraception as "respectful service". By this logic, Target could then allow a thin cashier to reject an overweight customer from buying junk food. Although I have enjoyed being a Target customer for several years, I will not continue to frequent any Target store until the company establishes a reasonable policy, and then makes that policy known to the public. In addition to warning my friends about this, I will attempt to bring greater attention to the matter by addressing it in my weblog. I will also be reaching out to the many designers who have been working with Target, such as Isaac Mizrahi, to alert them to this matter. Thank you.
no longer a fan of target
A Target store pharmacist in Fenton, Missouri (for the record, I recall it as a rather rednecky part of Eastern Missouri, which explains a lot) has refused to fill a woman's prescription for birth control pills. Evidently, Planned Parenthood has tried to verify Target's policy regarding "pharmacists' refusal to fill valid, legal prescriptions for birth control, including emergency contraception" several times now without success. Who wants to bet that this same pharmacist fills Viagra prescriptions without blinking? So, I've done my civic duty by signing onto Planned Parenthood's petition and have sent it along to my mom and sister so that they can too. If you're similarly outraged, please consider clicking the link above and doing the same. In fact, I'd consider contacting all those famous designers who make less expensive lines for Target and letting them know that you won't be buying either their high or low end lines if they continue working with such an antiquated company. As much as it would hurt, because I love Target, I think it would be more effective to boycott the chain till they established a national policy of NOT refusing to fill birth control and emergency contraception prescriptions. This is a huge national chain, and yet they seem to be caving in to a small-minded, reactionistic and reckless group of people seeking to end a woman's right to reproductive freedom. Also, fwiw, the pill is used for more than just one of the most reliable means of contraception - it helps to even out hormones in a way that lessens pain, cramping, pms, and acne. Once Target develops a satisfactory policy, I will frequent their stores again. Until then, no cheap-ass Isaac Mizrahi for this chiquita.
hurricane whiskypants
First of all, is it wrong of me to hope that Wilma (after it attains hurricane status tomorrow) hits Mexico instead of the States? Because, I don't think I can make it through another one without some serious, yet legally prescribed, medication. (Xanax, anyone?) I'm not kidding. I'm beginning to look my age and behave as if I'm older and this will not do. At the same time, I'm just so grateful that the weather is finally exhibiting some autumnal characteristics. I found a very funky pair of Sesto Meucci boots at DSW over the weekend, and need to wear them right now. Or, maybe out for cocktails with a certain interesting man on Thursday (a rolling stone gathers no blobbedy blobbedy) ... So let's also hope that the damnable zero-tolerance law in DC is overturned by then.
big updates and the iPod shuffle
It's been a busy weekend, dearest readers! (all 7 to 20 of you, depending on the day) 1.) B2 and I have called it quits. We lasted nearly 3 months - which is quite a record for me with this online dating thing. He's a good guy, and there are no bad feelings. 2.) Gil IV is dead. He had some sort of fungal infection and even though I tried using the standard medication for Betta's, he didn't make it. Somewhere in that big rice paddy in the sky, his little fishy soul is kicking some other betta's ass. Good on ya, Gil. 3.) I've updated the online dating profile, but expect little good to come of it. 4.) Went to Naptown for a little quality time with The Bunny (don't bother clicking though since he hasn't updated since April, and it's not like he doesn't have an internet connection - he does and it does work). Was reminded that mixing wine and whisky is muy estupido. But got to hang with The Bunny and TMS's new pupster, Rudie, who might be the sweetest puppy ever. 5.) I have a $5 off coupon from DSW and I'm DYING for some new boots. Maybe something with fur! 6.) I have been working on a new template for the blog, and am consulting with an expert of sorts on the eventual design... Also, I've taken this little meme from The Silver Fox as well. You put your iPod on shuffle and then list the top ten songs: 1. Redemption Song - Bob Marley and the Wailers 2. Promise - Violent Femmes 3. I Melt With You - Modern English 4. Take a Chance on Me - ABBA 5. Get Off My Cloud - Rolling Stones 6. Please Please Please Let Me Get What I Want - Smiths 7. Walking in the Sun - The Zombies 8. Utopia - Goldfrapp 9. Take Me Out - Franz Ferdinand 10. 68 Guns - The Alarm What a mishmash!
weirdest. birthday. ever.
If your idea of a fantastic birthday includes hanging out all day in DC Superior Court, well, that's just plain sad. It was not on my list of ways to spend my 35th, but apparently birthdays are not a valid reason to ignore a subpoena. So, instead, I spent 4.5 hours on Wednesday, and another 7 hours on Thursday waiting to testify against the Thief of Purses. (If he had known he was getting a faux leather bag I got on sale at Barney's New York outlet, he just would have died.) First of all, the seats in the hallways of DC Superior Court are total crap. Also, they desperately need to febreeze the little anterooms outside of Courtroom 310 as they stink of guilt and anxiety. (Since I was filled with neither, I stayed out in the hallways and people watched. People watching at the courts is even more fascinating than at airports.) So, while waiting for my chance to tell a jury about the most insane first date I've ever had, I got to catch up with Nunzio. He had told one of the (I think the final one assigned was the third or fourth) prosecutors, "There was no romance in this relationship, but maybe there will be justice," which just freaked the prosecutor out. He pleaded with Nunzio to not state such a thing in front of a jury. Nunzio recommended a book to read, so in addition to catching up with him and stealing his line, I've added a new book to the reading list. The testimony went easily. The failed robber glared at me a good bit - as if it was my fault that he got caught. Oh wait, it was my fault. That's right. I followed the yellow bastard out the door yelling at him the entire time. The defense attorney tried to punch holes in my statement, "So, you didn't actually see the defendant put your purse in his backpack?" "That's correct. I just saw my purse in his backpack when I was trying to get it back." And the bad man, who had a long history of such crime, was found guilty. B2 improved the day a good bit by making me a delicious dinner and lavishing me with attention. And a pretty velvet scarf and a Thai sarong. The end.
in my dreams, i'm an ass-kicking babe
My alter ego is so much hotter than I am. And, apparently, an ardent user of double-sided tape... 
get ready...
Take your vitamins, get plenty of sleep, and don't forget to hydrate, my babies. On the 8th we'll be hitting the Black Cat for some much needed regression therapy. Except, my version of regression therapy won't be going much further than my mid-twenties. (No teenaged angst or incontinence allowed. Please.) I examined the many birthday celebration possibilities, pondered the mature and dignified options such as dinner at a nice local eatery/wine bar, and just decided that it lacked a certain je ne sais quoi. Or something. That, and I'm really tired of acting my age. So, come dressed somewhat inappropriately for your age and caffeinate beforehand. Leave the weak stuff at home. I can't wait.
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